Donna Smaldone
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Friday / July 29 / 2011

Words mirror the inner you: choose wisely

Photo by Laurin-Jade, photobucket.com

In 2011, I am so troubled by words I often find myself pausing to find the appropriate one before finishing a sentence. This works fine as a writer, but seems silly in verbal conversation. Just ask my friends and co-workers how many times in recent months I’ve apologized for said pauses noting, “I’ve got no words left.” (Although if you ask my husband, he’ll refer you to our first video blog, where I admitted I often use more words in the first hour than he does in the whole day.)

Here’s one: Tolerant. — The older I get, the more I realize we should NOT be ‘tolerant’ of one another. We should be accepting. ‘Tolerant’ is just a word excuse to make us seem noble as we pass judgment on something or someone “we know is wrong”. The truth is, we can only fully understand what we know based on our own beliefs, behaviors, experiences, even sexual preference. But acceptance (not tolerance) comes when we recognize and embrace that not everyone is just like us (…whew!)

Gay. Christian. Black. — What’s right? What’s permissible? What can I say without offending? Nowadays when someone asks me if I’m a Christian, my first response is, “it depends on what you mean by Christian” – because the truth is, if the asker bills himself a ‘Christian’ and behaves like a self-righteous, arrogant buffoon, I am most certainly not going to say, “yes, I’m like you.” I love Jesus and am humbled to have Him in my life. I don’t need to be labeled in order to love Him — or for someone else to deem that I do. Incidentally, Jesus Himself wasn’t even a Christian! He couldn’t be. He hadn’t died on the cross yet. Hmmmmm… now I’ve got you thinking.

Words can kill us as people. Whether we choose the wrong ones or don’t use the right ones.

Here’s a good one… “No!” — This is one of my favorites, especially when it comes to the freedom found in The You Evolution™. You are allowed to say, “no”, my friends. You are not superhuman, able to conquer every challenge given you. You are a human being, who needs rest and self-fulfillment. No matter how much you love your job, are dedicated to your church, adore your child’s softball team, or fancy playing tennis – sometimes you simply have to say, “no”. Try it just once this weekend – I dare you. Then “Leave a Reply” below and tell us what you did (…or didn’t do).

9 responses to “Words mirror the inner you: choose wisely”

  1. Andrew G says:

    “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” – James 3:9-10

  2. Carrie says:

    Thanks Donna, good one!
    Thanks Andy for the verse reminder!
    Going to be more aware of my words…..

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Carrie… you are one of the most loving, effective, good-chooser-of-words people I have the honor to know. Thank you for being YOU!

  3. Phil Richards says:

    This is one of my favorite quotes and I learn to live into it more and more every day. I lean more and more on the mystery of life that becomes so hard to put words too!

    “I really live in an awareness of a transcendent power that I cannot articulate, cannot explain. And yet, I never doubt. And I walk into that mystery more every day of my life.” John Shelby Spong

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      I, too love the quote from James… human beings (ALL human beings) have been made in God’s likeness. Wow. Powerful stuff. Great quote by John Shelby Spong, too, Phil. Thank you for that!

  4. Nancy Muldoon says:

    Great post. While living in San Francisco in the 1990’s I often heard the word ‘tolerant’ which is insulting.
    I can name many instances where people acted as if they were doing me a favor by “tolerating’ me. It’s like telling someone that you can’t stand them but because you are a ‘good christian’ that you will tolerate them. How nice.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      That’s a great word to describe it, Nancy… insulting. We need to diminish the “I’m a hero” mentality when people ‘tolerate’ other people (understanding the key word here is ‘people’, as in human beings!) We need to be contagious about accepting and embracing each other’s differences. Afterall, that’s what we expect others to do for us, right?

      • Nancy Muldoon says:

        I also take issue with the word ‘liberal’. In my experience the ‘liberals’ are okay with freedom of speech until they hear something that they disagree with and thats when the games begin! Then they want you fired from your job or taken off a committee etc. etc.

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