Donna Smaldone
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Sunday / October 09 / 2011

Stop watering your plastic plant relationships

Relationships are like plants. Some are worth watering, some are not. Some should be discarded. Do you know which is which?

In order to judge, you first have to know you.

Without self-discovery, all we can hope to bring to a relationship is an amateur canvas of what we think – and hope – the other person will find beautiful. The true beauty in a relationship, however, is when the canvas viewer puts the paint brush back in your hand, insisting upon your artistry. THOSE are the relationships you want to water and grow.

How is it that you can be friends with individuals who are so vastly different than you, but with whom you share a bond that cannot be explained or undone? I’d argue it’s unconditional love in a relationship that’s been watered.

It’s the kind of relationship I share with childhood friends Denise, Amy, and Dawn. And it’s why I’d argue the four of us will remain BFFs forever and always, regardless of life’s circumstances or even how often we see one another. Our bond is strong because we’ve taken the time and energy to water our relationships, and continue to do so.

Relationships that are unbalanced, falling solely on one person (i.e.: in order to get together, it’s you who must reach out to make the ask; in order to communicate, it’s you who must send a text or leave a message) and relationships that are based solely on looks (i.e.: you’ve been partying every other weekend together for three years but have yet to be asked if you’re happy in your marriage) – are plastic plant relationships. You can water, and water, and water but you’re never going to see growth. Stop trying.

The relationships that cause you to second guess everything about yourself, leaving you depleted, exhausted, and feeling worthless – are the ones that need to be discarded.

Find the courage to walk away from damaging or stagnant relationships, no matter how good they look from the outside. Despite the length of a relationship or its exterior beauty, the key is recognizing a potted plant is still potted, and will always lack room for growth – and a plastic plant can never come to life no matter what you say or do.

Friends, it’s time to stop watering your plastic plant relationships hoping to see growth. They aren’t real!

Begin to pour yourself into the relationships you can help grow and flourish. Those are the ones which in turn, will provide you with sunshine and fresh rain, cheering on your own growth and discovery.

Just imagine how deep your roots could run if planted in a fertile, wide open field – surrounded by a sea of beautiful wildflowers, each uniquely blowing and swaying in a single breeze.

Dream fertile. You deserve it.  

4 responses to “Stop watering your plastic plant relationships”

  1. Dawn says:

    So glad to be one of your wildflowers my friend…keep up the great work, looking forward to your book tour!!! Love you.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      I couldn’t be happier we’re “in the field” together, Dawnie. Thank you for living your life so fully, setting the example of tender strength, and refusing to give up on what is most precious in this world. I’m honored to share life with you.

      Love, Donna

  2. Rick says:

    Wonderful, practical advice, Donna. I love the analogy between relationships that aren’t good for us, for one reason or another, and watering plastic plants. Gives your point visual punch. Nicely done.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Thank you, Rick! I know I’ve been guilty of watering plastic plant relationships and then wondering why there was no growth. Hindsight is 20/20 but seeing before disappointment is so valuable. Thanks so much for reading!

      Love, Donna

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