Donna Smaldone
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Monday / July 18 / 2011

When being gay isn’t always so gay: part II of III

Whatever your opinion of Lady Gaga, she nails the truth of unconditional love when she sings, “Born This Way”. The key lyrics spell out the thrux behind this three-part blog series: “No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life, I’m on the right track, baby, I was born to survive.” (full lyrics here)

Many of my friends are gay (both guys and dolls, to continue Part I’s theme of musicals from the ’50s). And guess what? They celebrate love the same way I do. They fall head-over-heels, they make good choices and bad, they get cheated on, and if they’re fortunate, they ultimately discover the Love of Their Life. They laugh, they travel, they argue, they buy puppies together. They desire to give love and be loved in return.

So, then — the only dissimilarity I can see is that they have sex differently than I do (although, I’d argue even that’s not always true…) So, REALLY?! We as a society are going to label them because of that? I don’t think so. Not this girl. I embrace love. True love. Real love. And all the craziness and challenges that go along with it.

It hurts my heart that even in this day, some of my gay friends can’t live out their love in front of others for fear of being judged and condemned – and labeled. I can’t even begin to imagine the tragedy of living my love life behind closed doors, unable to give my partner that seductive smirk at a restaurant, or grab his hand as we’re meandering around town, or accept a spontaneous kiss on the lips at a red light.

These friends of mine weren’t celebrating last month when Governor Cuomo announced the legalization of same sex marriage in New York State. For them it wasn’t a victory because their love is still celebrated in secret. That should wrench your heart.

If you are one who is living life in the wake of doubt about the core of your very existence because of the opinions of the world which surrounds you, hear the love and acceptance in this truth: “There’s nothin’ wrong with lovin’ who you are, ’cause He made you perfect, babe… and, ‘cause God makes no mistakes.” (Lady Gaga). God created you – and only you – to be uniquely, beautifully and perfectly you. Welcome to The You Evolution™.

I vow to work toward a world where everyone has the freedom to love openly and freely – without condemnation or labels. You in?

PART I, in case you missed it is here: When being gay isn’t always so gay: part I
TOMORROW: When being gay isn’t always so gay: part III, by special guest blogger Rick Modien of This Gay Relationship

4 responses to “When being gay isn’t always so gay: part II of III”

  1. Rick Modien says:

    Nicely done, Donna.
    What an inspiration you are to gay and straight alike. What an example you set of how love is no different, whether you love someone of the opposite or same gender. Now, if we could just get that message out to everyone and have them believe it.
    What a thrill for me to be the guest blogger for part III of this series. In parts I and II, you set the theme and the tone. My hope is that what I wrote will continue the message as you intended it.
    Thanks for trusting me to spread your vision. I really appreciate it.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Your words are very meaningful to me, Rick. Thank you. I, of course, got a sneak peek at your guest blog post for tonite and can assure you, it will resonate with many. You are a wonderful and amazing creation. Delighted we’re in this together.

  2. DeRonda Hastings says:

    Did you hear that!? That was the sound of Donna hitting the ‘nail on the head’!
    How wonderful that you can see so clearly what should be commonplace for all; love is love. And labels; I personally have never fully identified with a label such as ‘lesbian’, but have merely succumbed to society wanting to paste it on my forehead. Why can’t I just be a woman who happened to fall in love with another woman?
    Thanks again for your ever-insightful purpose of looking at the world…
    ~De

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      You are loved and appreciated, De. And I love that when I introduce you I don’t have to say, “this is my gay (LABEL!) friend, De”… I can simply say, “please allow me to introduce you to an amazing, loving friend of mine, who has a heart bigger than most and loves wholly and unconditionally.”

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