Donna Smaldone
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Friday / November 18 / 2011

How many times a week should you be having sex?

How many times a week are you having sex? How many times a week should you be having sex?

Ah, yes… this is a question I get a lot. Not only because I have a relationship blog, but because my husband Skip-n-I are passionately and unabashedly head-over-heels in love with one another (and that’s after 18 years of marriage). We’ve often been asked, “what’s your secret (…when it comes to sex!??)

The answer, in its simplest form, is, “intimacy. Naked or not, when you’re close and intimate with your one-n-only, it’s sexy.

Recently, we talked about what a man wants in a would-be wife. His checklist not only includes the naughty-naughty, but a general overall love-n-admiration of him and all he represents. Surprised?

I’m going to be blunt and to-the-point right now, ladies – in a non-G-rated fashion. Please, open your ears and hear me: your man is not just a penis!!! He is a human being, who wants to be loved, respected, admired, cherished, and held when he’s sad.

He wants to share his innermost self, but can only do so if you open the door of unconditional love.

It’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year. Why? Because partners haven’t kept “sex” on the priority list. In order for your love and intimacy to grow, these are the 3 “Must Have” Conversations for Sexy Sex.

Interestingly, when men who are smitten with you dream, they dream more about pleasing you than themselves. So how do you score a star role in his x-rated dreams and reality?

The answer of “how often” isn’t as simple as a number. It’s not about the act of intercourse. It’s about noticing when your mate gets a haircut. It’s about sharing the sadness when your one-n-only loses a loved one, and sharing the elation when he/she gets a promotion. It’s about simply deciding what’s for dinner so he/she doesn’t have to. It’s about bathing and putting the kids to bed so he/she can relax, sip a glass of wine, and not worry.

Go to the spice cabinet that is uniquely yours. Add just enough spice to “wow” and leave just enough out to create a desire for more. Throw the number out the window and pay it all into intimacy.

These are the things that spice up your sex life. These are the things that make sex… well, sexy.

 

2 responses to “How many times a week should you be having sex?”

  1. Rick says:

    Nicely done, Donna, and I couldn’t agree more. Well written, thought provoking, and (dare I say it) common sense.

    What particularly resonates for me is, there are all sorts of ways you can be intimate with your partner–in particular, you can be emotionally connected to him–without having sex. I find these are the extra special moments that really make a relationship, that give it depth and texture and meaning. So, it’s not the number of times you have intercourse, it’s all the times you make him feel special and wanted and validated–and he does the same for you.

    Don’t get me wrong, sex is great. But it’s everything else that REALLY makes the difference.

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