Donna Smaldone
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Friday / July 22 / 2011

Let’s talk about SEX, baybee: there’s no such thing as "too much spice" in your sex life

I’m married to an Italian so please understand, to me, there’s no such thing as “too much garlic”. Likewise, there’s no such thing as “too much spice” in your sex life. Ah, yes… now I have your attention.

So what exactly is permissible in the bedroom? (… or in the tub, on the kitchen sink, in the car, or on the grass beside the pool)?

The answer is: anything that works for both of you. Like garlic, sex is a very powerful spice which works best when measured accordingly.

Some (like me-n-Skip) love garlic. Some (like vampires) don’t want anything to do with it. And of course, every varying degree falls between. The question is, where do you fit? Where does your partner fit?

Even if you and your partner are on different ends of the spice spectrum, there’s a happy medium, I assure you. When that medium is reached, the most delish, tasty dish you can conceive will be realized.

So how exactly do you discover what your medium is? Well, YOU TALK ABOUT IT! (gasp!) Yes, my loves, it’s called communication. We talk about how important communication is in every other aspect of our lives (money, children, jobs, where to live…) So why exactly do we shy away from sex-talk? The obvious answer is, “it’s uncomfortable” – or – “I don’t want to hurt my partner’s feelings”.

Listen up, friends… sex was designed by God to be one of the most amazing, spectacular, mind-blowing experiences –  e v a h.  It is WORTH IT to have the conversations (and yes, there needs to be more than one). It’s time to attain those *hot*, intense scenes you once thought were only scripted in moves (believe me, your partner is fantasizing about them, too). Those scenes are not just reserved for a select few. They’re reserved for you. But it’s up to you to take the first step.

Talk to your partner, I implore you. Talk before sex. Talk during sex. Talk after sex. Be honest, be loving, be willing to listen. Be willing to experiment. Be willing to comprimise to find a recipe that works for you together. Once fully baked, the feast may surprise you.

The time is now to spice up your sex life. Trust me. The market’s in your favor.

4 responses to “Let’s talk about SEX, baybee: there’s no such thing as "too much spice" in your sex life”

  1. Sally Scuderi says:

    I love that you said God invented sex….. so it is all about why we are here as humans. Each persons’ sex life is special and precious to them. I have always been of the thinking…. you have a sex life…. ok then it is ok. I have a wonderful bond with the One and it is a lifetime of feelings, love, and togetherness. Thank you for broaching this subject. It is a real thing, not that nasty dirty stuff we read about all the time, but the reason we were made into couples and it is holy in its own way.

    • Donna Smaldone says:

      Well said, Sally. It is indeed a real thing, which is holy in its own way. And every couples’ sex life is different. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong”, only an agreed upon life that is beautiful and unique to each couple.

  2. PlF says:

    If you could only see the photos I just gave to my sweetest! They surprised ME when I saw them, and certainly delighted him… Spice of life, surely.

    • You are beautiful, Ela – as is the ‘spice’ you and Blaze share. What a precious, real life marriage you are demonstrating to your girls. What a gift you are giving them!

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